I used to use this phrase a lot. It describes all the odd things I see and experience. I say that I live in a parallel universe where things like these are even possible.
Let me start off by saying happy nurse’s and teacher appreciation week. Nurses and teachers are some of the most selfless, caring, giving, hard-working, loyal, intelligent, and respectful people on this planet. At the same time, we are some of the worst treated people. We are often threatened, used, and disposed as punching bags. We see things, and we deal with human emotions, trauma, all while taking care of humanity. We are non-judgemental, yet we are constantly judged and treated poorly.
I have loved being a nurse, and I truly value being able to help others through my skills and knowledge. I have beautiful memories of taking care of others. I still see it as my calling and passion. At the same time, I remember how exactly 1 year ago, during nurse’s week, I was threatened. I was abused by the very people I gave up my lunches and breaks caring for. I have come a long way in getting over that, but I am constantly reminded how no matter how good you are or how selflessly you give to others, people will be jerks to you. I used to think karma and justice were real. I am let jaded, yet again. Just when I had restored my faith in humanity, I lost it again through my interaction with insensitive humans. The one blessing has been being able to care for uninsured and low income people once again, which I absolutely love. Everyone there is so kind and appreciative. The respect I deserve is actually present for once. Then again, I am reminded, I, myself, do not have health insurance, no income, no house, cannot even afford a car charger for my phone, yet I am giving my time, knowledge, and skills, to provide free care, which would otherwise cost 100s of dollars and for the same services physicians and providers get paid 1000s of dollars, for free of cost. I get $0, no insurance, but I get the reward of knowing I made a difference. I tried to be the change I want to see in the world like my idol Gandhiji. I still wonder though, how much longer can someone be used as a punching bag and treated like a disposable object by society (well select few jerks), when she herself spends her life dedicated to caring for others. The phrase treat others the way you want to be treated, yet I am treated like trash.
I have been the nightingale for so long, but where is my nightingale? Sometimes, I wonder. You cannot serve from an empty cup when you spend so much caring for others, yet no one truly cares for you the same way.