A letter to all the women and young girls

20190605_160313Dear my fellow women, Know your worth, love yourself, be steadfast in direction of your dreams and goals, be independent, street smart, and do NOT settle for a life or partner or career. This leads to resentment, hatred towards the people you settle for or give up life gials or vision for. Be your authentic self. I know how it feels to settle. In past, I gave up so much important goals and opportunities for my family. I held resentment for the longest time. I am still working on forgiving them. I get irritable and snap on them time to time when I remember those moments. It is not fair to me or them. Instead of lifetime of depression, anxiety, and resentment for your life out of people pleasing and giving into settling for what makes others’ happy and you miserable, know yourself enough to walk away from anything that compromises your peace of mind with respect for yourself. You know what you deserve. Believe it will come at right time by universe. Do not look back empty hearted and a prisoner of settling. Women especially fall into this trap due to emotions, and then are resentful. Be mindful and wise with your decisions and life.  The right person will not conpromise your values, worth, or dream life. He or she will build it with you.      https://herway.net/relationship/if-shes-a-high-value-woman-youre-gonna-have-to-kill-to-be-her-boyfriend/20190605_123716 I highly recommend this book and Becoming by Michelle Obama. Be the woman you want to raise someday. Be with a man you want your son to be like and daughter to look for qualities of in a man when she is ready. I admire men who can stand up for themselves and their dreams and goals and do not get pressured by dogma or status quo. I admire men who can cook and make a meal for themselves because I see myself cooking with my partner and teaching kids together. My dad taught me to chop. I admire men who know how to respect women and have enotional intelligence and not afraid to open up. I admire men who face their fears and overcome obstacles not letting anyone else’s opinions buzz their inner voice. I admire men who can go on spontaneous trips with me and not afraid to hike 10 miles, jump off a mountain with a parachute, zipline thrpugh the jungle, or go camping without electricity. I have all those qualities in myself, and I am attracted to those qualities equally. Like attracts like. The universe delivers. Do not settle. Not everyone’s visions and personlity are compatible. I see myself with my husband traveling the world together, putting eachother and our relationship as a priority, becoming best friends with eachother, taking risks and growing, learning new things, languages, experimenting with recipes together, getting our own apartment, both thriving in jobs we enjoy, in a city both loves, and buying our own house or building it, and raising our own kids together in a nuclear family, just how my parents raised me.
I visualize building a strong lasting marriage and lovely nuclear family.I have my parentig style all figured out from being a pediatric nurse and family nurse practitioner having cared for and saved lives of many children. I would never put up with any interference of in laws. I grew up with dreams of finding the right person for me, being pursued and proposed to, buying own house together, traveling the world together, thriving in both of our careers together, supporting eachother, helping volunteering in community together, raising a family together, and going through ups and downs of life together being best friends. I deserve to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with me to build a life with me because he loves me and values me, and not to bring home a wife or nurse or money generator for his parents. I deserve a man who is present in my life and there for me and the kids someday. Not someone who is too tied up with so many other responsibilities such as watching netflix or blowing off plans to clean or go to vegas or entertain his parents. A man and woman meed to prioritize their relationship if it is to lead to marriage as a husband and wife are a team that prioritizes eachothef amd their marriage. No one wants to marry or be with a man already married to his mom or dad. It is not adult children’s job to entertain or date their parents. There are boundaries. Each need their own lives and homes. It is important to help out and be there in times of trouble. It i important to be a support system and spend quality time, but not marry them or live with them under 1 roof after becomimg married to a life partner. Time is valuable. I know my worth and what I deserve in life. I work so hard for it daily! I save people’s lives for a living and care for the sick and vulnerable. I am always going through caregiver burnout despite loving my profession and seeing it as my calling. I cannot further that burnout. I deserve to come home to a peaceful home with my partner only. Just because I was born Indian, does not mean I run around caring for and worrying about in laws and my parents in addition to my own kids someday. Burnout is a horrible disease that sucks the life out of you. I have lived it many times and vowed to myself to take care of myself 1st. I cannot serve from an enpty cup. People need to be independent and take some responsibility for their own health and happiness. Stop emotionally blackmailing your adult children. Only leads to resentment. Let me live freely like my dreams and how 90% of women I know live! I clearly set boundaries with my own parents. I deserve the life I dream of. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a26344567/trista-ryan-sutter-marriage-counseling/ I see going on family trips with just the kids and my husband and I to new countries and giving the kids a world class education! I see my ideal partner and I saving up for retirement without any debt and volunteering together in our later years. I see that life for me. I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve and know to be the dream since I was a little girl. I do not let limiting beliefs or status quo stop me. I believe in the power of God and the universal law of attraction. I am a living proof.

Mt. Royal

A mountain in center of city!! Also, namesake for Montreal! I wish I had hiked more but I was starving and when I am hungry, I get hangry.  I needed to find food. So after I switched rooms from room with my new friend to a room alone, which I hate, I headed to Mont Royal. It was a 45min walk. Well 1 hour to get to the bottom then like 20 min to climb to the view point. Hunger made me leave and find food. I was craving pasta and Italian. It is the hormones. I am so bloated from PMS. Just got my period today. I needed food. I really wanted to do a longer hike. Next time.. I always find hikes where ever I go. So I could not find a cheap Italian place. They were all overpriced. I therefore went  back to same Mexican place. Then went to hostel to nap as my period was making me fatigued and weak. I hate hormones controlling my mind and body. It is the worst. I have been so active in last 4 days, yet I am so bloated and retaining water making me feel like a  balloon. With this much exercise, I should have lost 5 pounds by now. Whatever.. so over it. Stupid metabolism. I used to not even weight 100lb and do same physical activities as not gain wight 3 years ago. In that time, my body changed so much! I cannot fit into any of my dresses for my friend’s wedding. I need new dresses asap and have nowhere to get them. I am so moody and irritable right now. It is the hormones estrogen and progesterone messing with my serotonin. Being a healthcare provider, I know exactly what this is. Women go through so much. Not fair. I could not even nap despite needing it because the new dorm room they moved me to has been squeking noises from the window every 5 seconds! And the cleaning staff keep blasting loud music while doing their job! On the bright side, I was like screw this. I left and came for gelato. I need to find some funny onesies for my friend’s baby. She wants one, and I am in no shape or mood or have time to go to old montreal again. My body and mind feel like a hot mess! I just wanna take a hot shower, play relaxing music, grab a drink with my Australian friend tonight, and sleep peacefully without the noisy squeky dorm room. Have to catch a flight tomorow. Last full day in montreal not so good. Its the period ruining it. I need to buy more tampons and pads too. My period came early. Did not expect it on my trip. Always ruining plans. So need to find a pharmacy and a baby store.. urggh.  Its raining now. This period symptoms are too much. If men lived one day experiencing what being on a period felt like with hormones shifting and body changes.. they would see women differently forever. It is like a cloud over me for a week. My belly was flat yesterday, and today my skirt is so tight and bulging. I walked like 10 miles and ate mostly healthy.. well not. Oh well. 20190604_12173520190604_12131320190604_12071320190604_12015120190604_12180820190604_12014620190604_163731I just need comfort food. Nuttella gelato! Reminds me of my Eurotrip!!

Montreal adventure

20190603_163515wait..how do I pose as a barbie.. lets practice some poses20190603_163504I am a barbie girl in a barbie world.. an American Indian short athletic toned barbie in casual wear! If I came here as a 7 year old, woahh! My australian roomie and I had fun in underground city barbie exhibit! 20190603_16333220190603_16331720190603_163130make a wish. Jeanie in a bottle!! I used to love I dream of Jeanie and Bewitched on nick at night!! Dear universe, my wish is your command. Thank you in advance!20190603_162252… happily ever after. 20190603_162326many cultures many forms of beauty20190603_162313my style.. 20190603_11412820190603_12061820190603_13134820190603_163505heaps of fun.. had a few takes. This is confused bubble in mouth awekward pose aka natural me.20190603_134152in the biggest movie theater ever…seeing Godzilla in Imax. 20190603_100921bascillica de Notre Dame. So serene. Loved it. I pray in Cathedrals too. God or universe or higher power is ever present. IMO. To each their own. I respect all religions. 20190603_10005220190603_10023720190603_10353520190603_11251520190603_10345520190603_09441920190603_09324020190603_075554love hostels..made an amazing friend even for several days. We clicked and my solo trip turned to a girls trip. Funny how I click and connect with people so well like magic when traveling. I forget names but never memories. She had top bunk and mine bottom. Have to change room tomorow ;( boo. Its been a slumber party.. gonna miss this. I needed this. A stranger felt like a close friend and we explored the city together, went to movies, crashed a graduation at a local uni..just stood there and people watched heheh, and wished we could get flowers and teddy bears. Neither of us really got to celebrate our graduations and we are nurses.. how sad.  20190603_184556not so sad anymore.. round 2 of this chocolate heaven. I am bringing my kids and grandkids here someday. This is gonna be a family legacy. When my daughter goes on her 1st backpacking trip, I will tell her all my crazy lovely stories and adventures! Be brave and free my child!20190603_183729my friend’s choctail!! And waffle sandwitch!!20190603_183312my oreo cheesecake milkshake.20190603_18212220190603_18055820190603_18024220190603_17543620190603_170620underground city.. we had heaps of fun figuring the maze out.. gpsing our way around town. Old town montreal to modern charm. Day well spent!! I wished for a travel buddy, I got one. She is temporary travel budy for couple days, but feels ages of connection. People I know do not travel with me much sometimes yet strangers and foreigners become family to me in hours of learning life stories and bonding over lost in the city. Ironic. Hostels rock. Someday will do 4 day train ride like my friend… it seems so cool!!!! I have to get back to saving lives till then. Meanwhile, the universe is delivering my permanent travel buddy. So blessed and grateful. Ended the night with wshing my hair with free toiletries amazing smelling shampoo and conditioner that I took from the 100 dollar hotel my 1st night here. Give me my money worth.. now I smell good. Its all good! Simple pleasures of life. I should socialize but dont wanna play pool or drink beer. Eww. I had amazing cocktail last night called fuzzy navel. I had to get it because of the name. It was good too!! And we had shots of ghostbuster whatever tht was.. hostel bars and lounges are so nice and kitchen and all. The breakfast is good too. Free buffet style. I will miss my roomie. We have plans to crash eachother’s future weddings. I will go to australia and she will come to mine pretending like we don’t know eachother!! A girl can dream. She will be sure to have veggie food for me in Melbourne!! Au revoir?! I will socialize again. I am so sore from 10 hours of walking. Hiking mont royal tomorow.

Chocolat amour

https://youtu.be/y7qtY0ZY-_Y  Chocolate is abundant in my life. 1 belief changed and this manifested! Chocolat amour. Chocolate love in French? My French is limited byt working on it. Still working on my French. These cafes are literally French and Euopean. It is taking me back to my Euro trip in 2013. I love it! I am getting intoxicated on chocolate with hazlenut and nuttella and forrero rochet… I deserve it. 20190601_183354people come to these places with their S.O. my brother took my sister in law to chocolate room in India. They go on hiking trips and day trips all the time. They just went to bunch of 3 or 4 Canadian national parks and hiked literally 10 hours or more and saw glaciers. They did a Eurotrip few years ago and I love how they do these things together. I am so happy for them and have lots of love for them. I love how they get to build their lives together and live together in new cities and explore and grow together. Similr to all my friends. Not a single one of my friends lives with her in laws. Many of my cousin sisters do not live with in laws either. Each one of my friends and even brother moved for their wives’ jobs or to be closer to her family as they saw equality and respect for their partner. They do not see her as a 24/7 nurse and caregiver all self sacrificing for his parents. They do not put that pressure on her. I do not understand why I kept attracting people who used me as back up, stepping stool, an option, stood me up to clean houses or party with friends. My friends and brother never do that to their wives or partner. I had such bad experiences. I am so happy and grateful to the universe that now I am going to make sure I have only good experiences. My partner is treating me as a priority and loves to spend time with me and talk to me. I am deserving of that and am attracting that. It makes me so happy when I see people holding hands and traveling together, and I always wished that for myself. Instead, I had people who did not even want to talk to me, spend time with me, hike with me, see me, or anything tht forms a connection. I had people double timing me and questioning my life worth. My friends attracted partners who value them and respect them. They put the relationship as a priority as it needs to be. No one wants to marry someone’s parents. Compatability is beteeen two people, not a housefull. I wonder ehy i attracted same situation again, but I know the right man is out there who is perfect for me in every way. Who would do anything not to lose me, and put our relationship as a priority. I am sending positive vibes to the universe.

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May be he is in Montreal or he will run into me on my trips sometime. Anything is possible. I am so deserving of the love and caring I give out all day long to others. The universe has to repay me for the lives I saved. Instead of giving me panic attacks, I should be feeling peace and excitement for my future with the person who knows how to treat me right. It is an ancient Buddhit saying. I grew up in a nuclear family just my mom, dad, brother, and I. We visited and grandparents visited. We were all very close back then but lived apart. My own grandpa dad’s dad told my dad and mom to live apart and build their own life and family in the city. This gave them so much room for their relationship to grow and become best friends. To this day, they enjoy eachother’s company and do not need their adult kids to entertain them. They go shopping, gardening, walking, and to the gym together as a couple. They are elder and have other limitations with English and driving and need my assistance with some stuff,  but they give me my space and definitely respect my boundaries and space. They support me in all my travels. They get so proud when I go on trips. I wish happiness upon others and have learned to treat myself to give myself happiness too. I tell myself I am so happy and grateful for creating my dream life. I deserve every bit of it. I have had enough hurt and harrasement and abuse. I kmerged out of poverty and now having $10-14 chocolate shake. I used to shop at thrift stores and not afford school lunch. I know I am capable of creating my dream life, relationship, career, and house. I can see it all. I believe it is manifesting as I write. I have universe and God as my sidekicks. One side God walks next to me always. The other side, my (imaginary) partner, who is here I believe. I deserve someone who chooses me. Not someone who uses me to have a wife and maid and caregiver and baby maker for his family. Instead, someone who is my partner, creates a life with me, just him and I, and our own beautiful family of kids someday. Our own house and travels. Our adventure in life. While maintaining all other rlations with boundaries. Not someone who I have to ask or tell to call me, but has the desire to talk with me naturally. Someone who enjoys time with me, not makes it a chore or burden to see me. Unlike conventional old school Indian culture. 7 billion people in this world. Someone who saves lives for a living and volunteering deserves a life partner equally as amazing for her. She is not meant to be a tied down, but someone who runs with her and keeps up. Another couple on date night. How lucky are they. My friend is moving across country to be close to his wife (my other friend’s) family. That is love and respect. I deserve that type of relationship and partner. Not one who thinks its ok to abandon a girl to chill with his buddies or clean. Who does that? Only some Indian men who se their friends abandoning their pregnant wives while chilling with buddies. I need to stop attracting that kind of stuff. In what universe is that ok. Whay 30 year old man would need to ask his parents for permission to meet a girl or live with her. If they control his behavior now, what wold they do to the poor girl and her future. Control her marriage and kids and interfere in how to raise them, when to have them, what they eat, what schools, where to live, names of children, health decisions. All of these things are between a husband and wife only, not some orthodox  Typical Indian male and in law entitlement!! Where is the life I desire?! I see so many couples where man and woman its 50/50 and I deserve that.  Some women do not stand up to this crap and waste their precious years being a servant to their in laws. Life of emotional blackmail and no privacy or space. How is this even ok in this century with educated and independent women? Even uneducated village girls do not put up with this then why me? I see uneducated village girls with good men who travel with them and live in their own houses in a city where both are happy and being treated with upmost love and respect. I am not putting up with anything less. I grew up here, am beautiful inside out, and intelligent, I have more courage than most guys, and have build my career and education. I know my worth. Every woman should. A man and woman buy a house together for their new growing family. Not any other way. That is a partnership. Everything is joint decision making. Not his parents deciding where, when, how to live. That is the 15th century suffocating controlling behavior.   https://youtu.be/2joKpGza-e8  I am a huge believer in LOA and working on changing limiting beliefs. The pen is in my hand and I am writing my story. Financial freedom is so important to me. My parents raised me with very little money and worked labor jobs. I grew up in a crappy dirty old apartment. I still only live in a condo, not even a house due to my parents’ limiting beliefs. They tries to pass those beliefs to me. I believed I am poor most my life until few years ago. I traved the world on a budget yet had the luxury of travel. I got money flowing from all directions with 2 jobs. I had bonuses and made 6 figure in my mid 20s as I changed my beliefs to I am worthy of comfort and deserve a nice home. I am still working on changing some other limiting beliefs. 28 years of subconcious conditioning…but I can do it. I changed the belief that I was scared of heights to hiking 15000 feet above sea level and paragliding and ziplining in the Swizz alps, Smokies, and Andes. Change limiting beliefs for a better life. You deserve it.      https://youtu.be/Qjh6MO2ofR8  I absolutely love her and Leor Alexandra. I follow their youtube channels and feel so empowered. Lovely women. Be the woman you want your daughter to have qualities of son to look for in a partner.

Montreal. I am here!

20190531_22483220190601_12012120190531_22483220190601_12012120190601_132319the hostel behind me20190601_123019they crack me up. So creative. Trying to smile. Their kindness and witt helps.20190601_14120820190601_141204walk.. love walkable cities 20190601_13452320190601_14442220190601_13231920190601_12301920190601_14120820190601_14120420190601_13452320190601_144422Bonjour! All I know in French is Ja mepel ?, and bonjour, and well bon apetit! I took French in middle school, but forget. From the moment I stepped into the country via airport, I fell fall this city. I love the vibe. Sometimes, you just know. It clicks. I have been to plaves where it nevee grew on me or took forever such as Chicago, I hate New York, but I loved DC, San Diego, Cusco, Medellin, Cartagena, Mumbai, Leh, Fort Kochi, Interlaken, and some others..I love how Montreal is so diverse and multicultural. I love the French lingo everywhere. It is so pleasant to the ears. I had amazing encounters with uber drivers. I had a Cuban and Haitian driver so far. I had a whole convo of our life stories with Cuban driver in Spanish and with Haitian driver in Engligh as I do not know Creole. I then had amazing thaali today at famous Indian thaali place downtown Montreal. I for 1st time liked their chana masala more than Palak Paneer and I am a die hard palak paneer fan. It is my fav.. yumm spinach gravy with palak cubes. Then I spent an hour at a pharmacy for fun because I am a nerd. I wanted to compare Canadian stuff with US stuff. Here are some pics and videos. As much as I enjoyed being a solo traveler, I see myself traveling the world bckpacking and having hiking trips, exploring new places, renting log cabins in the wood climbing mountains, with a partner or travel buddy. No excuses. I worked so hard to build this life and adventture spirit in me. It is deep rooted in me now. It is therapy for my past. It is coping with my present. It is hope for my future. Travel means so much to me. I envision sharing these experiences with someome. For now, I am enjoying these trips. I make friends. I hope to make new friends this trip too. 20190601_120048waiting for uber to get from hotel to hostel. I am going through something rough, and I have been on a journey of personal growth. I believe in law of attraction and how I manifesting world travel. I always said I am a world traveler, and well my life is a living proof of my imagination. I know what I deserve in life and I belive in overcoming all limiting beliefs and status quo or dogma to have life I dream of. I have suffered enough. I know my worth. I follow several youtubers who have reignited my passion for power of law of attraction. No one know the future, but I can visualize. I visualize my dream partner with me now. From solo traveler to couple travelers and backpackers. I manifested this Montreal trip. Almost did not make it as Delta overbooked the flight and had no seat for me! But I am here! I am blessed. I can choose to be sad, or choose to be happy. I choose happiness and peace. I am over panic attacks for a life not meant for me. I hve hd anxiey ever since I was harrssed at my old job. I was traumatized. I recovered after so much pain. Now I am my own advocate and do not let others walk over me and my dreams. I deserve to be a priority to myself and anyone close to me. It is not being selfish. It is having self respect. My career is a source of burnout caring for others all day. I deserve to be cared for. I need to come home and unwind and travel is a way for me to rejuvinate my soul and mind. Travel is my therapy. I will do a post on LOA later.. my hand hurts. Nap time before I head out again!

Nashville y’all

IMG-20190503-WA0015IMG_20190503_170942_460IMG_20190503_170137_58120190503_144816IMG-20190503-WA0022IMG-20190503-WA0016IMG-20190503-WA0015IMG-20190503-WA001120190503_11041420190503_10485620190503_094607 A foodie and world traveler by profession, and exploring new places, hiking new mountains, and trying new food aka pigging out is my specialty. My mantra in life is, life is too short, so be yourself, grow to be best version of yourself, challenge status quo, and create the life of your dreams! I am a dooer. I like spontaneous trips and making things happen. I hate excuses. Everyone says I am very courageous and brave for a woman. I say I have worked hard to build myself up to be like this. Mostly through solo travel from my early 20s. I learned that people will always stop me and question me. I learned that no one can see my dreams the way I can. All it takes is inner faith and for me, my spirituality and God as my best friend by my side at all times. I am never scared when traveling. Even solo as a woman. Chop chop karate! Don’t mess with me! I am a nurse and can do first aid on myself. I am resourceful and can memorize maps and directions like a photo memory instantly. I learn new languages easily and blend in like a local, which in my opinion, is best way to travel, live like a local! I went from shy little girl growing up with not much money, skipping school lunches due to cost, shopping at thrift stores, to being able to travel the world, a dream many people have. The only.difference, I work hard and make it happen challenging status quo, and others find excuses. I never had the time or money to be honest. I made the time, saved up, go into credit car rewards, stay cheaply in hostels and air bnbs. Only time I stay in hotels is when its free from CME conference allowance when I have to attend medical conferences, or if I get half off with reward points! Or with certain friends and family who cannot adjust to air bnb and hostels. I get it, its not for everyone. I respect that. I just do not find luxury hotels too cozy. I have been in many due to my medical conferences and had $300 per night rooms which I felt like is too much. I had no choice then as the conference was there and I was alone with no hostels or air bnb nearby. I got it all reimbursed though. Other than that, I love cosy rooms and homes, elegant, yet comfy. I love feeling like a local. In Nashville, we stayed in air bnb and loved it. We had cute little room with comfy mattress for a good night sleep. A neighborhood to go walk around at night! I love the food and music vibe downtown and suburb living! Very walkable.

Lessons and Wisdom from Hindi Music

So many life lessons, wisdom, and pure bliss and serenity can be found in old music and lyrics. I have always had a strange connection with old movies, Hindi especially as I grew up in an Indian household, but also a lot of English songs. This is one of my favorites-Kuch to Log Kahenge. I used to be a very shy and passive little girl, but as a woman, I transformed into someone that takes no wrongdoings by others. I set standards for my life and learned to be very assertive and confident. I broke stereotypes and learned to travel alone in the world as a female. I survived harassment and things women face that men perpetuate or or oblivious to. I learned to pull myself up, dust myself off, get back in the field called life and well people will say things, its their job to gossip, forget useless things, do not let the rain pass. I love dancing in the rain! I love puddles and walking in the snow too! I draw smiley faces on my car when it snows! I learned to live my life with God’s grace and happiness, not what the society, status quo, or especially the Indian orthodox or conservative beliefs and discrimination towards women and their happiness and rights in life, decide. I proved to my family that I can travel solo at 23 years of age to Europe, solo female Euro backpacking trip during my grad school break. I was also working full time as a nurse at the time. I did tons of overtime, saved money, planned and took off on an adventure that taught me essential life skills, survival skills, confidence, and self worth. I learned to be street smart along with being book smart. I built my character and language skills by emerging in different cultures. I faced adversities and built strength through those challenging. That is why I love travel and made it my lifestyle. Forget what people say,; you cannot please everyone. It is impossible. Everyone will pull you in different directions. Learn to stand up for yourself. Listen and follow your heart and calling. Life is too short to be a slave of other people’s limited thinking and closed mindedness. and I just love Rajesh Khanna. I must have lived in that generation and been a fan!

Women deserve so much more respect and equality than what the patriarchal Indian society preaches. Women’s lives are destroyed in name of certain “traditions” and practices. No one ever questions the man, for he is entitled to have a woman delivered to him in his parents’ house. Women sacrifice so much, their whole lives, to be miserable. This next song is one of my other favs! I love how free spirit he is in this song, and it inspires me so much!

❤ Rajesh Khanna! The lyrics are so right on about life! Can’t put life on hold to live!

He goes by Gateway of India! I love Mumbai!! Childhood memories and memories of my best friend and my India trip! Everyone comes in this world crying, true! Babies cry or are made to cry to check for breathing when they are born! APGARS newborn assessment! Then they learn to laugh and smile!

Life of service of helping others is a life well lived. I chose Nursing as a career because it is my calling. I care less about profit. I actually hate money. Instead, my reward is the health of my patients, the smiles on kids’ face, the laughs with my friends and family, the travels and deep conversations with people all over the world over free breakfast at hostels and challenging myself to climb higher mountains. Health is wealth.

This song inspired me: maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune, is how I feel about my parents. I live for them. I make sacrifices for them. Ever since I was a little girl, I was obsessed with this song. Choti choti baaton ki hai yaadein badi, bhule nahi beeti hui ek choti ghadi. Small memories of my childhood and sacrifices my parents made, their struggle, I will never forget. I vowed to give them a better life. I take them traveling and out to dinner, movies. How can a woman be snatched from her life giving parents to serve someone’s else parents. Not fair, in this Indian society. I stick to my duty of being there for my parents.

This is my free spirit and my this generation love Sharukh Khan since I am a 90s kid after all. Rajesh Khanna is my old school Hero! I love this song as it was my anthem when I followed my dreams after becoming a RN 6 years ago and moving to India for 6 months and volunteering with NGOs in free clinics and community public health in my home state. I learned to be so independent living in Gandhi Ashram, boiling my own water daily, no heater and it got cold at night by the river, washing my clothes by hand daily and hanging to dry, and working 6 days a week for free. My paycheck was love of God and the community I was serving. The family I reunited with in India, the nieces and nephews that grew up in my arms and I was there for their first steps! Every travel adventure, this song is so me:

I take no BS! Dance it off! Dancer for life! Every time I travel or emark on a new trip, I remember how I defied the odds to be where I am now. From no money for school lunch and sleeping on the floor, to funding my own trips! Khud pe hi hum ko yakeen ho, mushkile raah ki aasan ho! Have faith in yourself, the problems in your path become easier.

Laanat hai ji uspar,

Laanat Hai Ji Uspar, Duniya Mein Hi Rehkar
It's a shame on all those, who are living in this world
Duniya Mein Jo Jeene Ke Andaaz Ko Na Jaane
But still haven't learned how to live
Maathe Yahan Thope
They bang their heads (curse/complain)
Chaand Ya Taaron Mein
On the moon and the stars
(Pointing out to those people who lead a life based on Horoscope/Astrological Charts)
Kismat Ko Dhoondhein Par Khud Mein Kya Hai Ye Na Jaane
They search for good luck, but they don't recognize their own talents (skills) 
Khud Pe Hi Humko Yakeen Ho
We should believe in ourselves
Mushkilein Raah Ki Aasaan Ho
Then the difficulties in the path of life will get easy
Donon Haathon Mein Ye Jahaan Ho
And we shall have the world in both our hands

Life is short, make it special.

So how do I make travel affordable?

This movie, her character, Shah rukh’s wisdom has been anthem to last several years. What women go through.

Screenshot_20181219-112309_Pinterest

Ok friends, let me let you in on a little secret. shhh.

Well, what is a secret anyway? I think there is a joy in sharing knowledge and experience, so in today’s blog entry, I will write about how I make traveling the world affordable. People always ask me, or “tell me, but it is too expensive?!” blah blah blah.

Here is a recap on my childhood. I am part of an immigrant family that moved to this country when I was only 7 years old. We had a decent life in India, spent my childhood playing with friends, running on the streets, etc. Cannot complain. After moving to this country though, we struggled, a lot. I struggled to fit in as a child who had to learn English all of a sudden, but I managed. I learned Spanish, Somali, Japanese in the process too with my new diverse friends. Our finances, however, were poor. We lived in a bad neighborhood with no safety. I grew up often sleeping on the floor or roll out bed. I shopped at the thrift store, and my family’s idea of dinner nights were at fast food places. We had no family vacations except the free passes we got to local amusement parks from my dad’s job. My mother and father worked double shifts day and night to make ends meet while supporting family in India. I grew up in a tiny apartment with gunshots in the neighborhood, and girls being stalked, robberies, and kids being kidnapped. I grew up not feeling safe in my own neighborhood or home. I got my 1st job at 15 years of age at the school store through personal finance class where I was proud of the $5 per hour wage. I skipped lunch to work, and starved many days. That work ethic never left me. I saw and lived struggle, from harassment to lack of money. My parents could not even afford a house for their family growing up because of this struggle. I envied my friends who lived in houses and I would sleepover and have slumber parties, things little girls love to do! Our UNO and card games, secrets, and pillow fights. I learned to work hard and be my own hero, and learned to value and put my family first. Money was never a reward, instead, I knew if I worked hard, God would give me the money I need and more. I used my 1st paycheck after I turned 18, since I could not do this before 18, to sponsor a girl child in India to get her education. I, myself, growing up poor, knew that giving is the real means of life. Someone always has it worse than you. That childhood, taught me to be the financially savvy woman that I am today. I learned habits and tricks to stretch every dollar or rupee and travel the world for cheap, and free sometimes. I make every dollar work for my advantage, and that of my friends, as I have given my friends free flights too with my reward points.

My life goal is not to be a millionaire. I hate expensive things and materialism. I like simplicity and this less is more. I love walking around in gym clothes, and hate designer clothes. I do not like jewelry, Gold, or silver. I do not waste my money on these things. Instead, I save. I use coupons, and credit cards with travel rewards. The two best travel reward cards out there are Capital One Venture One AND Chase Sapphire. With these, I manage to get free flights, to Mexico, other US states, and free hotel stays. I also got travel expenses reimbursed from my trips to India, South America, Europe. If I spend $1000 on a trip, I somehow get 10-20% back in the long run through these points and miles. I have been upgraded for free in world class airlines such as Emirates from Economy to 1st class due to my miles. It is all about accumulating miles. If I know I have a big purchase coming up, I use the card which will give me more points for every dollar spent. People spend extra money to stay in fancy hotels and traveling excursions, while I find deals and bargain. When I was in Cozumel Mexico, I bargained the cost of zip-lining down to what I thought was OK. Some cases, if I know local people need this money, I will give it to them, but for large corporations or for-profit, I have no mercy. I have a NGO and non-profit mentality. I spent my 1st year as a nurse volunteering for free in India, but it was the best year of my life. Money does not buy happiness; experiences do.

Credit card miles and points are great and all, but also keep up to date with coupons. I recently bought an electric toothbrush for $3, which was originally $8. I used a reward bucks with the local pharmacy and multiple discount codes. I have bad allergies, and know when I will be running out of medications, so I am sure to save up coupons and has HSA aka health savings account to bridge the gap between insurance and high deductible out of pocket costs. Some things are more expensive than they need to be in this country, unfortunately, even healthcare providers have medical bills and expenses and poor insurance coverage. Having a health savings account comes in handy and is very valuable for today’s times. I also have had phases without insurance, and that is when I had gotten Pneumonia and was very sick. I, myself a healthcare provider, treating others daily, had no insurance for 3 months during my new job, and had so many out of pocket costs. I used my old HSA card from previous job and GoodRx app discounts to pay $0 for all of my medications.

Many things are not fair in life. We are not given what we want so God can teach us to grow and turn ourselves into the best version of ourselves. I grew up without vacations, but now travel the world. I grew up shopping at the thrift store, including buying my interview outfit from there for my 1st Nurse practitioner job, to traveling the country for medical conferences being in a room learning from highly intelligent and caring colleagues of physicians, NPs, and PAs. I went from being shy and timid being a victim of harassment and stalking, to standing up for women in the workplace against workplace harassment and any man that tries to control me or display signs of abusive behavior. Money is just money, it will come and go, but our own strength and wisdom, street smarts, and book smarts, knowledge and experience, will help us conquer life. The value of $1 is that of 1 million for me, and will always be, and 1 million dollars, will mean nothing to me. Money never excites me. Adventure does. Growth does. Deep intellectual conversations about life does.

 

Self care

As a healthcare provider and woman, I think this post is very important to my fellow women or healthcare providers. I will open up about something I have written about before, but not explicitly. Currently, I have the Flu. It has hit me all of a sudden, as with Influenza virus. I am medicated as I knew the symptoms and seek help fast, and I also had my Influenza vaccine, so it gives some protection. I still caught the Flu from my patients. I use all the infection control protocol, Clorox and Bleach disinfecting the whole exam room, Lysol spray, washing hands a million times, wearing a mask all the time, and using hand sanitizer every 2 minutes. I do everything to keep myself and others from getting sick, but the Influenza virus is spread in droplets through airborne and contact precautions. I know to stay hydrated with a lot of liquids, water, and try to eat a light diet such as soup and rice. It is hard as I can barely drink half a cup of soup without feeling nauseated and do not have an appetite. I know how my patients feel when they say they feel like they were hit by a bus when they have the Flu because I woke up yesterday feeling like something robbed all the energy out of me, myalgia (muscle pain), headaches, chills, fever, sweating, nausea. I used to have the strongest immune system, but I had to call off work due to my symptoms and go see my own PCP for medication. I knew there is no way I can work almost 11 hours while feeling so miserable. For the safety of my patients and myself, I needed to call off. I hope I recover fast with all the rest and sleep I will try to get and Tamiflu medication. Healthcare providers are in the worst position as we do not even get sick days. We are looked down upon for calling off when our very jobs get us sick. I love caring for others and it is my passion to using my medical knowledge, skills, and training to make others feel better. That does not change the fact we are humans too. We are not machines. We need self care to cope and recover from illness. Healthcare providers have this innate guilt of always being there for others, and not knowing what it feels like for someone to care for them. That is why I emphasize self care to my patients and try to practice it myself. It prevents burnout so we can continue to be there for others. You cannot serve from an empty cup, and definitely not from being ill.

Here are my favorite self care tips.

  1. Rest when you need to. No need to explain to anyone else or get anyone’s approval. If your mind or body needs physical rest or emotional unwinding, prioritize it. Anyone that respects and cares for you enough, will support you, not make you feel guilty for taking “me time.” I teach this concept to patients all the time. Humans need to recharge, some more than others. Introverts especially. I need peace and quiet. I cannot stand too much loud noise or large crowds for too long. It is a matter of personality. Extroverts recharge in company of others.
  2. Drink a lot of water during the day, at least 8 cups, but more if you are sick for acute infection as your body will be more likely to get dehydrated.
  3. Do activities you enjoy, or make you happy. Life is too short to work 24/7 with no intention of living in the present moment. I make time to do things like exercise, when I am not sick that is. I love writing and blogging, and I am working on a book. I make time for my friends and family to go out to lunch or dinners, trips, or just chilling at someone’s home. Your hobbies and passion make you glow and bring your happiness, so make time for that. Do not lose yourself in trying to please others all the time. I used to be very passive and let others decide things for me and walk all over me as that is what Indian girls are taught to be growing up. I fought that and followed my dreams after making many sacrifices with education and career for my family that only led to resentment or bad situations such as workplace harassement at my old job. That is a whole different post I will do in future. Women deal with so much inhumane things that men do not even realize.
  4. Anxiety is real, and not a made up notion. For me, it is situational from the harassement and abuse I dealt with. I was fine before. For others, it has different triggers, or no trigger at all. I have treated many people for anxiety and depression, yet in the society, especially Indian orthodox sectors of society, people do not understand it. If someone points fingers at you or your past, know that you deserve better. The worst things someone can do is to dismiss someone’s feelings without understanding where they stem from. No human being deserves that. Do what you need to take care of yourself, and the right person will be supportive and not add stressors. True family and friends make your life better or help you cope, not add reasons for anxiety. Journal, talk to your best friends, travel, nap, watch your favorite show, go on a hike, meditate, pray, do what you need to help you. Self-care is not selfish. Each person copes differently. Travel, hiking, dancing, writing, is therapy for me. Each individual needs own time to self-care, and that is perfectly OK, especially for us women. Men can come home and throw their shoes and put their feet on couch while women come home from work to care for the home and family too. How is this OK in the 21st century when it is about equality and partnership. Say NO to anyone or anything compromising your peace of mind. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201507/10-signs-you-re-dating-narcissist%3famp  Time is most valuable asset, one cannot get back months. Time is investment more valuable than money. Do not allow anyone to waste your precious time if you are an option, not a priority. Do not give people second chances when you should have walked away 1st time when you are a back up plan or option while they keep searching for someone better. No one should take 8 months to meet up for 4 hours if unless you are just an option while you made them your priority. Its not matter of having time, its matter of priority. No one should feel alone with you in front of them. No phone call or text email is more important thsn building a real connection with someone. Worst manners or lack of. No date is a bussiness meeting. Women, you are not a man’s therapist or bussiness partner to only talk about himself and his family or bussinness. If he does not care to ever ask about your friends or family, puts you down for having goals, hobbies, own life goals that dont align with his, intelligence and courage to say no, walk away. Self care, not self destruct. This is not 1950s Indian village of auditioning to submissive daughter in law and housewife 101. The right man will be supportive and value the same qualities that make you the individual you are. It will not scare him, or cause insecurity if you earn more or have a successful career that takes you places! It will make him proud have a strong independent woman next to him, not behind in his shadow. Do not lose yourself in pleasing others all the time. Learn to say no and have standards for disrespect. Women, and men, do not let anyone or “orthodox traditions” dictate what career or education choice you make, or what hobbies or friends you have. That is not healthy. Also, this is 21st century. You did not get education,  fight cancer, become strong, travel the world alone building courage as a female, working full time, to be living in orthodox joint family, having a man and his parents control your mind, body, career, hobbies, major life decisions. You are not a puppet. The right man will not make you feel alone, an option, or a puppet. Self care.

The methods of self care are different when you are sick of course. As my PCP (primary care provider) told me today, a fellow colleague, that do not exercise for next few days. You need to rest a lot. She is right. I am the type of person that loves to be active and exercise, dance, workout at the gym, all of which are important for self-care, but not in the case of recovering from a severe viral infection such as the Flu. I can barely eat anything, let alone use up any ATP, or energy storage for exercise. I felt like passing out due to lack of energy and fatigue when walking down the steps this morning. I hate asking for help though from family or friends. Nurses are innate providers and givers, that we care too much, yet we do not let others care for us when we need it. My best friend pointed this out to me when I told her I barely drove to my appointment to get medication. She asked why I did not ask a family member to take me. I said I don’t want to be a bother. I finally asked my mother to make soup for me, as I needed to let others care for me once in a while. We are so used to caring for others, and burning out. I realized it is OK to be cared for.

 

I am getting chills again now, and body aches are back, need to take more pain reliever and sleep.

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